A friend of mine, who will be called Lychee, had a cousin that stayed with her for about a month. A high school cousin who is into kpop. When I got the chance to meet her, I thought, "I used to be into kpop. I could try to make conversation by asking her who she's into." Oh. Who knew that train of thought would lead me to where I am now. A kpop fangirl once again. ANYWAYS. She told me that she's really into Exo and proceeded to show me all of their music videos. Here is the first thought that came to mine when I watched their mvs. I couldn't help but notice how many there were of them. It reminded me of how I reacted to Super Junior when I watched their Don't Don mv. I was all, "Oh, cool. They have awesome back up dancers. Wait. They're all in a group? Why the fuck do they have so many??" And they ended up being my first love in the kpop scene. But with this group, there was one thing on my mind.
"How old are these kpeens?"
I then find out that the majority of them are younger than me. Only three are older than me and two are the same age. (I'm sure you can figure out how old I am with that info I gave you.) And I clearly remember watching Growl, or maybe another mv, thinking this one guy was pretty cute but knew that he must be one of the 94-ers. Then I find out that he's actually one of the 90-ers, reminding myself that you can never know when it comes to kpop idols. So I let Lychee's cousin to continue to show me videos, since there really wasn't anything else I was doing other than chilling at her house. It was nice, listening to kpop again and trying to place the name to the face among twelve members (at the time).
Here's the thing though. There's a moment when you realize that it's more than just a one time thing, and the moment is this. The minute you start looking them up yourself and watching youtube video after video, that's when you know. You're fucked. And I remember that ah-ha moment like it was yesterday. I was in my bed, with my cellphone on the youtube app. It was probably a couple of days after I met Lychee's cousin and introduced to Exo. I guess I had nothing better to do and looked up Exo videos, any of their live performances. It was either a Growl or Overdose performance, but I found myself going down the list and watching pretty much everything. And it wasn't until I was halfway through a performance, giggling that I had THE epiphany. I hit pause and literally mumbled, "Oh shit. I'm becoming an Exo fangirl." It pretty much went downhill after that.
I associated myself as an Exo fan. I watched everything that I could that was english subbed on Youtube and Dailymotion. For a week, I kept trying to get into their Exo-L fanclub site until I finally got in and joined the billions of other people who registered. The terms 'bias, ship, OTP, feels, fanfic, skinship, etc' came flooding back to me. I had a bias who became my cellphone wallpaper and began to ship all the members. I had forgotten all the time that it took to literally update oneself on a group. Sure, Exo had been a group for roughly two years when I got into them. But it still caught me by surprised when I was watching a couple episodes of EXO Showtime and looked at a clock, telling me that I spent all day just watching kpop videos.
Now, if you noticed or not, the way I talk about Exo seems to be in past tense. Unfortunately, they are kind of in the past for me as of this moment. I'm not saying that I have totally forgotten about them, it's just that my time is not spent focusing on the other groups that I'm into. It started to wane during the month of December. And no, it has nothing to do with all the scandals and people leaving the group. Yes I was bummed when Kris and Luhan left, and now they have this thing with Tao which is totally up in the air. But that is no way the cause of my lack of Exo-L fangirling. I was in the Philippines during that time and with the horrible internet connection there, I didn't really get the opportunity to look up videos and watch them. So the routine that I had while in the states didn't apply to the when I was in the Philippines. All the news and updates of them I got from my Lychee whenever we chatted on Line.
While I still lust over my two biases, and think their recent come back song "Call Me Baby" is pretty catchy, I just find myself watching videos and daydreaming of the other two groups. But who knows! I haven't watched EXO Next Door yet and from what I've been told by Lychee, it's pretty good. Maybe that's the incentive to get me back. Win me back Exo! Or at least get my attention again biases. I'm losing you to my other ones.
And when I think I'm fading from the kpop life, I come back to the US and get sucked into another fandom. The Got7 fandom...which will be revealed in the next post.
Till next time! (see...it wasn't too long till I posted again..)
KxF
[Sidebar Update]: Four years have passed. I have moved on and found new Man Candy. Check out my new Man Candy list to see who I'm thirsty for.
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